Build long-lasting relationship

Today, we value more how we look in our social media account than how we actually feel. We may be friends with 100 on our Facebook yet no one to call when we need. How to build a friendship that is real. A relationship that will fulfill us. A meaningful relationship, not just to show on social media. But that kind which does not make feel us lonely. A lasting and true relationship that won’t fall apart just with one discussion.

Get to really know someone: to build a long-lasting relationship,

Building along lasting relationship takes courage and effort. You can only understand and show empathy when you truly know them. This means accepting all parts of them, both the beautiful and not that beautiful, too. Because you can not have long-lasting relationship/friendship to just one or two aspects of someone. Are you ready to see them as whole? When you want a rose, we must be prepared for thrones too. This is the most genuine and effective way to build anything true and lasting.

Be as honest as possible:

You have got to be honest. Let’s be real, the relations build up on a lie is short-lived. Can you be honest with each other? Say what you mean to, not what they want to hear from you. Showing who you are not is only going to make things difficult. Remember, you will show your true nature, sooner or later. So just start off with honesty. All lies and secrets are hard to maintain, it does not let you enjoy the relationship, because you are always watching your back. Come clean, take baby steps. This way you both can grow together with your relationship.

Keep your expections realistic:

What are your expections from this relationship? We see these movies and listen to these songs, which create a high expections of ourselves and of others. The everyday life is much different. When we narrow down the possibilities of how a relationship look or feel like, we are killing the essence of it. If you already make up your mind, then you are setting up yourself for a failure. Because a relationship/friendship/ a partnership includes both of you. The other person in relationship with you has expections of their own too. Do not expect them to magically read your mind or know what you are feeling. Tell them, trust me, they will appreciate it. May be over a long shared time together, you will create a bond and know more stuff about each other. That is beautiful.

Create memories that are lasting :

We might forget what someone gave us on our birthday, but we do remember how they made us feel

All of our relationships are tied to some memories, some bitter and other sweet, or both. Going on a crazy trip, or dancing on a loud music, laugh together to some silly jokes. This is crucial for emotional and mental health. These are all ways of bonding. Because we carry them around with us. We remember and smile, those are the memories we must create. Doing this makes us feel good about ourselves and about the relationship too.

Respect them and their boundaries:

Letting your loved ones know that you are there for them is a key to a healthy relationship. Life will throw stones at all of us. Some of us want to talk about it and cry, and some of us just want to sit in silence. Everyone has their own coping method. Know your partners, do not pressure them to open up. When they feel ready, eventually they will open up to you. Wait and respect their decisions.

Create an open communication

In long term relationships, we both should be able to openly communicate. Effective communication is the key to keep relationship alive. Through mutual respect and quality time we build a long-lasting relationship, how you own mistakes and spend time to resolve shows that you are on the same page.

You do not have to agree on everything

It is okay to have a healthy amount of discussion in a relationship. In fact, a healthy conflict is necessary in a relationship for it to grow stronger. The key it to disagree without yelling or screaming at your partner or friend. We peel off our layers and show the hidden parts of us. How you come together to make peace reveals how both of us are grown and became united. Healthy conflict provides a building block for long-lasting relationship.

Ask for help and accept when need:

Come forward and ask for help when you need. This is the way of you telling someone that you trust them. And you are letting them in your life. By being vulnerable, you are creating a safe place for the other person to do the same. At the end of the day, we are humans, and we need to feel safe. We like being needed.

Avoid the blame game, it does no good

In long term relationship, honest communication to gain mutual trust. Sometimes things go wrong, well intentions bring harm. But when we start to fight over whose fault is it, the issue at hand continues to be solved. You might get upset and even angry, it is your right to feel, however you should not vomit your poison upon others. Take as much time as you need to calm down, and star looking for solutions. Tackle and battle as a team.

Understand and forgive:

For friendship to get stronger, you will have to go from ups and downs. As human, chances of us making mistakes are high, when one does come short, you must be willing to understand and forgive and move on to make the relationship work. It is annoying when we are judged upon our past mistakes. Even we have apologized a hundred times, there is no sign of comprehension. Let alone forgiveness. But do not dismiss the topic if you can not forgive, faking is not a solution. This will only make it worst.

Own your mistakes:

As you take a fair share in happiness, you must own your mistakes. Be able to apologize not only makes your partner to see you are responsible, as it brings both you together to look for solutions. Having a discussion is not a big deal, it is actually healthy, but how you react afterward counts the most. All long-lasting relationships have some amount of healthy conflicts.

The conclusion

long-lasting relationship is the fruit of continuing effort. It is easy to become friends, but it takes a lot of work and understanding keeping it alive. Often we know what we want from the other person in a relationship, yet we forget to ask do we have those qualities ? We are so used to instant gratification, it seems scary to work to build something for long term. We want a deep and fulfilling relation in just one click. Let me break it to you, it takes time.. Your life is worth more than a few thumbs up. I invite you to come to a real world, where you have no shortcuts, no cheats. You have got to face the hardship life and relationship gives. When you can manage to carry on, you will receive everything you have to work for and deserve. Great relationships need an open communication from both.